Modern Relics

Share this post
Is Chris Pratt's Mario homophobic or not?
modernrelics.substack.com

Is Chris Pratt's Mario homophobic or not?

Also, the Christian Girl Autumn collection is here

Rohan Salmond
Sep 29, 2021
Share this post
Is Chris Pratt's Mario homophobic or not?
modernrelics.substack.com

Chris Pratt is Mario and it’s making me think of church

Twitter avatar for @TylerHuckabeehuckeye @TylerHuckabee
pratt's casting making more sense now
Image

September 24th 2021

2 Retweets107 Likes

You might have heard there’s a new Mario movie coming out (sorry to 1993’s Super Mario Bros. which introduced me to the idea of evolution).

You may have also heard the controversy around Chris Pratt playing the lead character - and no, it’s not because he’s not Italian, although I have an article that might help.

Twitter avatar for @talknerdyukTalk Nerdy To Me @talknerdyuk
Still trying to wrap my head around Chris Pratt doing an Italian accent. Or will he just do his normal voice? #mariomovie
Image

September 25th 2021

1 Retweet1 Like

Garbage Day did a good summary of the pushback and why he’s politically out of place in Hollywood, but I’ll expand a little more here, because as well as being an odd choice in general (search “except Chris Pratt” in Twitter), it has to do with religion.

Chris Pratt has been an evangelical Christian since his early 20s after he responded to a Jews for Jesus evangelist outside a liquor store in Maui (I don’t think he’s Jewish though??)

I spent years on Tumblr following Parks and Recreation blogs where nobody (including me) realised this, but eventually he mentioned he attends Zoe Church in Los Angeles - a favourite for clebrities.

Zoe Church is notoriously opaque when it comes to LGBT people, but ultimately only recognises marriage as being between a man and a woman. Elliot Page alerted him to the situation, but Chris seems willfully ignorant (or simply can’t believe it) saying, “I go to a church that opens their doors to absolutely everyone.”

Twitter avatar for @MaxxAtomlil adam @MaxxAtom
Chris Pratt as Mario:
Image

September 23rd 2021

1,102 Retweets4,872 Likes

 

It’s true that Chris’ public persona is someone who wouldn’t hate anyone, but the same goes for his church, which seems welcoming but isn’t.

The whole thing has made him on-the-nose for many of his former Tumblr fans. Also, queer folks just love Nintendo, so it would be good if its mascot wasn’t voiced by someone who doesn’t support gay rights.

“Welcoming but not affirming” churches are a huge problem for LGBT+ Christians, who inadvertently waste years of their lives in places they’re never actually embraced.


Viking-era ring says “for Allah”

Twitter avatar for @archeohistoriesArchaeo - Histories @archeohistories
A Viking era ring inscribed with the words 'for Allah', found in the grave of a woman who was buried 1200 years ago in Birka, 25 km west of modern-day Stockholm. The ring constitutes a unique material evidence of direct contact between the Vikings and the Abbasid Caliphate.
Image

September 25th 2021

4,524 Retweets22,585 Likes

Saw this tweet and was like “Oh that would be cool if it was true” but it’s apparently legit.

[Extremely Jesse Pinkman voice]: Yeah history!


The Christian Girl Autumn collection

It’s getting to the end of September, which means while I am celebrating oncoming shorts weather and waiting for the frangipani to bloom, up in the northern hemisphere they’ve begun Christian Girl Autumn.

Twitter avatar for @maroon6fankyle 🍂 @maroon6fan
can’t stop watching this on repeat

September 23rd 2021

314 Retweets3,058 Likes

This video came to me as a mystery and delight so please watch it before reading further.

The ethereal music. The glitzy slow-mo cinematography contrasted with the big box stores. The Christian-themed apparel. The buying underwear. The GOD-LOVER pumpkin spice latte. The praying and the leaves. The women be shopping vibe. Incredible. The more I watch it the better it gets. If you want to live in the mystery, I don’t blame you. Read no further.

But I cracked this one: This TikTok video promotes a website called i-need-god.com, an online store that sells Christian-themed apparel that straddles the line between high irony and embarrassing sincerity (it’s run by the @ineedgodineverymomentofmylife Instagram page).

They sell “Prayboy” g-strings and a bumper sticker that says WE ARE ALL DOGS IN GOD’S HOT CAR, but honestly I can absolutely see these things being sold in a Christian bookstore. I particularly love the GOD’S GONNA TURN ME INTO DIRT tee. Memento mori!


He’s already being crucified - waterboarding seems a bit much

Twitter avatar for @ddoniolvalcrozeDiane Doniol-Valcroze @ddoniolvalcroze
Cleaning women washing a crucifix, 1938
Image

September 26th 2021

2,800 Retweets25,335 Likes

Is God immutable?

Approximately once a week, Weird Christian Twitter will have some Discourse™ about an obscure theological idea. Sometimes it’s Pelagianism, but this week it was about the imutability of God - the idea that God does not change. 

Twitter avatar for @filia_sophiadum phia spirat, sperat @filia_sophia
stop the immutability discourse, it hasn't changed since like 100 AD

September 22nd 2021

1 Retweet53 Likes

Most Christians believe this, but progressive and process theologians argue that God changes in response to creation, among other things. @RyWig kicked it all off with a tweet but he autodeletes and nobody seems to have taken a screenshot.

Anyway it inspired this post which I thought was funny. Thanks!

Twitter avatar for @masonmennengaMason Mennenga @masonmennenga
theologians: god is immutable me:
Image

September 21st 2021

28 Retweets571 Likes

Faking it for the Holy Ghost

Twitter avatar for @edgykristinaKristina Hart @edgykristina
Children who grew up with televangelist Benny Hinn:

September 27th 2021

6 Retweets97 Likes

When I was growing up, my best friend was Pentecostal and I visited his church often. People would fall down and laugh spontaneously during the services, and when I asked what they were laughing about, my friend’s dad said God was telling everyone knock-knock jokes. That’s just a story from my life and it’s only vaguely related to the video, sorry.


Is porkless pork halal?

Image: Slate

Meatless diets are increasingly popular, and so are vegetarian meat substitutes - even among people who eat meat. I never thought about this, but here’s an excellent article on how meat-free pork raises some complex theological issues for Muslims and Jews.

It’s technically permitted, but is that enough? Why do we avoid the things forbidden by our faith traditions? In a future where most “meat” doesn’t come from animals, will certain religions lose their distinctive practises?


More things that don’t fit elsewhere:

  • Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs (satire)

  • “Decisions were made here”

  • I was thinkin’ the other day, what if Elmo got saved

  • Is this raisin lady the Virgin Mary or what

Share this post
Is Chris Pratt's Mario homophobic or not?
modernrelics.substack.com
Comments

Create your profile

0 subscriptions will be displayed on your profile (edit)

Skip for now

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.

TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2022 Rohan Salmond
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Publish on Substack Get the app
Substack is the home for great writing