Online witches hex Putin
Also, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence ruffle Catholic feathers
I’m back! I survived! Taking a week and a half out of my regular routine to recover from COVID was such a strange thing: Unlike during lockdown, stuff kept happening while I was inside. I got the chance to play a post-apocalyptic beaver game though, which isn’t something I’d normally have time to do.
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#HexPutin
As we all know, the internet is for witchcraft, and something I’d like to understand a lot better is WitchTok – witches on TikTok. I’ve been vaguely aware of it since “baby witches hex the moon” (which I’ve mentioned before) and it came up again a few weeks ago in the wake of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
I started noticing a lot of Christian (and I think) pro-Russian accounts dunking on screenshots of TikTok witches talking about hexing Vladimir Putin, but I wasn’t sure if #HexPutin was really as big as they made it out to be.
I did a bit of a search on TikTok itself and there were quite a few videos between 30k and 50k views and a few hundred likes, so not huge but not insignificant.
What was more interesting was only about half were earnestly advocating for a coordinated hex. The other half of witches on the platform dismissed the idea as useless — some say Putin is uniquely resistant to hexes, others say the energy is better spent bolstering the Ukrainian army instead.
A now-deleted TikTok made by a young witch warned that hexing Vladimir Putin simply won’t work because “If you think this man isn’t heavily spiritually protected you’d be sorely incorrect.” Another in the screenshot above says, “You do realise you can’t hex Putin? Every government has their egregores that protect it.”
Witches on Twitter seemed more unified in their intention to hex the Russian president. A lot of the attention coalesced around a ritual by Michael M Hughes, who has made something of a career of coordinating political activism by binding right-wing political figures with magical rituals.
His Global Mass Ritual to Curse Vladimir Putin and Protect Ukraine involves a printed version of the above image of Putin, sunflower seeds and blue and yellow candles. It also suggests using a Ukrainian Orthodox prayer of protection to Saint Michael the Archangel, which is pretty interesting, but I don’t know how Ukrainian Orthodox Christians would feel about that!
It’s easy to trivialise Wiccan and Pagan rituals like this, and that’s not my intention, but I was amused to read the preferred version of his Spell to Bind Donald Trump and All Those Who Abet Him involves burning an unflattering photo of the president while yelling “You’re fired!” louder and louder.
I have no idea if this kind of ritual is normal for witches to practice, and it’s likely spells you find on the internet aren’t exactly representitive of what goes on in more secretive covens. Hughes does make a disclaimer that the Trump ritual can be seen as more an act of protest rather than a supernatural one:
It was created by me along with members of several private magical orders who wish to remain anonymous. I make no claims about its efficacy, and several people have noted it can be viewed as more of a mass art/consciousness-raising project (similar to the 1967 exorcism and levitation of the Pentagon), than an actual magical working. But many are clearly taking it very seriously.
But he also says it’s:
The kind of magic that works, based on the template that underlies every functional magic system, from ancient Egyptian to contemporary chaos practices. Some Christian folk traditions, in fact, both Catholic and Protestant, employ similar methods. Adherents of any formal system should be able to tweak the above ritual to suit their practice.
The Putin ritual will continue until the war is over and Putin is removed from power.
It’s Lent
Relatedly:
Shock: The Catholic Church doesn’t like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras happened while I was quarantined inside (sad!) This year there was a small controversy when the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney requested New South Wales Police delete a photo of officers posing with Sisters of the Order of Perpetual Indulgence.
Here’s Sister Roweena, Keeper of the Holy Doyley in the Star Observer:
“In terms of influence, the Catholic Archdiocese of Sydney, it seems, still wields plenty in this regard, because the Police were very quick to remove the images that the Archdiocese found offensive. This is disappointing, as it seems prior to the complaint being lodged no-one found it particularly offensive until they were told that it was by the Archdiocese.”
Another timely meme from VeggieTales
What’s integralism?
Quran Pod
I found this TikTok account selling dedicated Quran players with built-in headphones and “Quran smartwatches” designed to look like Apple products. They’re meant as a tool to aid Quran memorisation.
Pop Culture Spirit Wow
I’ve been trying to find other newsletters that do a similar thing to me, because it would be nice if I could read a religion and pop culture newsletter without first having to write it.
I recently found Pop Culture Spirit Wow by Jim McDermott, who is a Jesuit priest and screenwriter. It is very pop culture-y, very gay and very Catholic. I highly recommend! If you decide to subscribe, tell him I sent you.
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